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Napkin Thought #27: Seventeen

 

 

那是多么纯真的年代

那是多么纯洁的相爱

 

不知我怎么变了 不知她怎么变了

我慢慢知道什么叫做忘记

是一总成长也好 是一总悲哀也好

不管我多想留住回忆

它依然岁着时光淡去

 

不再是十七岁的我和你

最好是想念不要在相见

我将永远记得那段情

就算有一天我们变老

想起彼此还有着微笑

 

因为我早已变了 因为你早已变了

我也许不会爱上现在的你

是没有缘份也好 是没有感觉也好

不管我多么想念着你

却知道再也无法回到那年纪

 

因为我早一变了 因为你早以变了

有一天我偶而再想起了你

是一段往事也好 是一段感情也好

永远将它宝贝在心底

记忆着那时候的我和你

 

那一段十七岁的爱情

 

Lyrics: 陶喆 – 十七岁

 

 

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Napkin Thought #26: One

Solid shoulders. Notable biceps. Firm torso. Angular jawline. Athletic build. Quiet voice. Shy smile. Intelligent eyes.

Do you ever just walk through a sea of people, compiling the ripest miscellaneous traits of a few to supplement your idea of the perfect “one” who exists solely in your imagination?

If you do so consciously… you’re weird. But if the process is inadvertently executed and latterly recognized… then, hi hello, nice to meet me!

Despite all my daydreaming and reverie, I know that the “one” will probably turn out nothing like I expected (or rather, hoped for, let’s be real), but that is 100% okay.

Of course, assuming there will be a “one” lol.

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Napkin Thought #22: As The Ephemeral Snow

December 8, 2017. Today is the day my best friend’s dad passed away.

As I stepped out my front door this morning, bundled in my fleece-lined, fur-hooded coat and trusty black combat boots, a magical sight greeted me: Frosted trees, sugar-dusted rooftops, powdery sidewalks. ‘Twas the first snow in eight years. It was as if I had stepped into Narnia– anything seemed possible, and the day itself possessed an enigmatic quality.

Breathing in the clean air and capturing the vignette through my camera lens, I forgot the usual hustle and bustle of Friday mornings– the thought of tardiness not once crossing my mind and the expediency of daily routine diminished. Today was an exception. Today, there was snow.

The snow, soft when sprinkled and firm when packed, stung my fingers with its cold and warmed my heart with its potential. Snow means winter. Snow means Christmas. Snow means singing. Snow means hot chocolate. Snow means cuddles. Snow means reunion. Snow means surprise. Snow means delight.

However, snow, despite all the joy and beauty it bestows on the world, is not meant to last forever– not in Houston, Texas anyways. Here in the morning and gone by the afternoon, Houston snow must be stored in pixels and preserved in memory. It must not be forgotten because it will be a while until we see it again. It must be experienced in all its fullness and appreciated with unhindered expression before the gently beaming sun makes it glimmer, sparkle, and disappear.

December 8, 2017. The first snow in eight years.

From this year onward, every time I see snowflakes floating down from above, I will remember. I will remember him, and I will treasure all the people I love. I will remember that life is short, precious, and meaningful, and I will grab hold of every moment I spend breathing. I will remember that life is joyous and beautiful, and I will preserve every memory that I make.

As the ephemeral snow, life is full of love, delight, joy, magic, and possibility.  As the ephemeral snow, cold and warmth come hand in hand. As the ephemeral snow, we can praise our God even with silence. As the ephemeral snow, called away by the rising sun, we also will one day return home to our Father above. As the ephemeral snow…

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Napkin Thought #21: Well shit

So apparently, he was a fuck boy. Is.

Apparently, he had just gotten out of a thing with my best friend’s sister. Two days before he moved on to me. Apparently, that was a minor detail that I never needed to know. (Thanks bestie, you the real one.)

Apparently, snuggling on his couch when his parents aren’t home is not something he “doesn’t do with just anyone”. Apparently, his mama also needs to burn that couch now.

Apparently, he “has changed and wants to prove himself trustworthy” to me. And I, like an honest idiot, believed him. Apparently, I am not as smart as I thought I was.

Apparently, I deserve to be the girl who gets it right. Apparently, he doesn’t want to be the one that ruins it.

Apparently, that was all bullshit.

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Napkin Thought #20: 满怀期待

让我再看你一遍

从南到北

像是被五环路蒙住的双眼

请你再讲一遍

关于那天

抱着盒子的姑娘

擦汗的男人

我知道 那些夏天

就像青春一样回不来

代替梦想的也只能是勉为其难

我知道 吹过的牛逼

也会随青春一笑了之

让我困在城市里

纪念你

让我再尝一口

秋天的酒

一直往南方开

不会太久

让我再听一遍

最美的那一句

你回家了

我在等你呢

我知道 那些夏天

就像青春一样回不来

代替梦想的也只能是勉为其难

我知道 吹过的牛逼

也会随青春一笑了之

让我困在城市里

纪念你

我知道 那些夏天

就像你一样回不来

我也不会再对谁满怀期待

我知道 这个世界

每天都有太多遗憾

所以你好

再见


Lyrics by: 宋冬野

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Napkin Thought #19: Cold Nights, Warm Hugs

It’s nice to have a friend you can openly express affection to.

Someone who you feel natural curling up next to, someone who makes excuses to spend time with you, someone who listens, someone who jokes, someone silly, someone deep, someone understanding, someone who smiles, someone who looks into your eyes, someone who watches you when you talk, someone who waits for you to gather your thoughts, someone who guides you where to walk, someone who leads you when you waltz, someone whose arms rest naturally around you, someone who genuinely cares, someone who provides the perfect-height shoulder to lean on, someone who buries their face in your hair, someone who lets hugs last for minutes, someone who acknowledges how good it is, someone smart, someone witty, someone you’d probably let have your first kiss.

With his arms still around me, I look up, the tip of his nose just inches from mine. Our gazes lock, we smile, and the kiss doesn’t happen– but I’m happy.

There’s something so pure and healing about a good, solid hug. Honestly the whole reason for this post is just so that I don’t forget what it felt like– God, tonight was a good night. Thank you, and thank you, and thank you.

 

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Napkin Thought #18: Crying is goot for the soul

I had three mental breakdowns today, but how you doin’?

 

I don’t know what it was exactly, but oh, let’s see, maybe my totally shitty, unproductive week, my shameful lethargy, my stress eating, my screwed college applications, my self-deception, my isolation, my realization that I wasted the past four years of my life, my utter lack of companionship, my knowing exactly how I ought to be facing these issues but being helpless to implement that wisdom, and oh yeah, my last dance recital is in two months, and I’m going to look like a sauntering swine.

Image result for thumbs up meme